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Broken
- Thai Soccer Team Returns to “Ultimate Man Cave”
- Man Arrested for “Defiling” Pumpkin
- “Universal Body Armor” Proposed by Republicans
- Trump to Legalize Whaling
- Home Lobotomy Kit Hot Xmas Gift
- Trump Vows to Bring Back Jobs for Steve Guttenberg
- Fake News Linked to Illuminati, Climate Change
- Hackers Appalled at “Banal” American Data
- Desperate Nation Begs Tom Hanks To Be President
- Clinton Accidently Leaves Kaine in Hot Car
- Trump Image Appears in Woman’s Toast
- Millennials Confront Quarter-Life Crisis
- Santa Claus Barred From U.S. Travel
- Zuckerberg Pledges Fortune for Tango & Cash Sequel
- Local Man Refuses to Turn Clock Back One Hour
- Feta Declared New Greek Currency
- Man Breaks Ground On “Self-Museum”
- NCAA “Time Cops” to Prevent Past Violations
- Online Dating Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction
- ISIS Invites Ray Rice to Training Camp
- Man Embarks on 100 Year Student Loan Repayment Plan
- Freed Taliban Prisoners to Start Food Truck
- “Business Nude” Dress Code Starting to Take Off
- Groundhog Ritually Sacrificed for Early Spring
- Putin to Lead Russian Two Man Luge Olympic Team
- Dr. Dre Beats Helmet Blamed for Rash of Accidents
- Supercomputer Confirms “It” Is What It Is
- Man Returns to Work After Losing Lottery Jackpot
- “Selfie Assistant” Service Offers Children for Rent
- Klu Klux Klan Protests Black Friday
- Marine Corps Recruits Report Bullying at Boot Camp
- Snowden Returns to Save Obamacare Website
- Google Porn Simulator May Threaten Human Race
- New Range Rover Impervious to Motorcycle Attacks
- Local Man Records Entire Concert in Shaky iPhone Video
- USA Lowers “Invisible Dome” Over Syria
- Guantanamo Diet Takes Hollywood By Storm
- Drummer Refuses to Play Xylophone Solo
- Obama Admits Reading Daughters’ Text Messages
- Toddler Completely Oblivious to Facebook Celebrity
- Hipster Loses Leg in Skinny Jeans Accident
- Million Pound March Seeks to Squash Soda Law
- Pope Steps Down to Start Metal Band
- Fiscal Cliff Averted with Credit Card Balance Transfer
- Hours into Sandy Disaster, Zombie Holocaust Begins
- Sexy Bin Laden Latest Halloween Costume Craze
- Ahmadinejad Drops New Rap Album at U.N.
- USA to Produce Mohammed Action Movie for Peace
- TLC Debuts Seventeenth Pawn Shop Reality Show
- Bloomberg to Ban Eating While Driving
- Santorum Condemns “Unholy Spooning”
- Congress Withdraws Online Piracy Bill After Porn Blackout
- Obama Threatens to “Go OJ” on House Republicans
- Police Accidentally Pepper Spray Waiting Shoppers
- Vermont Man Ready to Hibernate this Winter
- Perry Accuses Romney of Changing Wiping Position
- Hobos Demand New Infrastructure Spending
- Struggling Post Office to Offer Scratch and Sniff Stamps
- Earthquake Rocks Jenga Championship
- Obama Unveils Re-election Slogan: “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”
- New Website Lets Users Share Bowel Moments With Friends
- Rapture Arrives Early in Australia, No Sign of Christ
- All-Stars Ditch NBA for New Dream Team
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