New York – Bravely refusing to give in and “fall back,” Travis Chester entered his sixth consecutive “sol” of unadjusted timekeeping today, rising at the same hour he has since spring.
All week he has arrived at work “early” at eight in the morning, and management has taken notice. “The guy is really getting after it,” supervisor Dale Walters said. Colleagues, however, report that he also checks out daily at 4 p.m.
Chester makes no apologies. “The subway is less crowded, and it’s still light out.”
Presidential candidate Ben Carson hailed Chester as a hero for defying government regulation. “There’s no DST in the Bible,” Carson declared. “You put a stick in the mud and make a sundial.”
Meanwhile, Mayor de Blasio, known for regularly snoozing until noon, called for a new timekeeping system, three hours later than Eastern Standard Time.
Chester plans to stick to his schedule. “My body knows what time it is,” he said. “Plus, I can’t fix the timer on my coffee machine.”
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