“Selfie Assistant” Service Offers Children for Rent

Share-Pals!New York – Molly Adams emerged from Bloomingdales hands full of Christmas gifts for herself and was admiring the window display, when white picturesque flakes began to fall. “I was in a big snow globe thingy,” she said. “But I couldn’t reach my iPhone!” Fortunately, she had help from a little friend.

A small brown-skinned boy stepped out from behind Ms. Adams, withdrew a digital camera and snapped the perfect shot. Moments later, the picture was shared online across all of her social media accounts. “Hey-Zeus saved the day again,” Ms. Adams beamed, tapping the boy’s head. “And only $199 a month.”

Jesus Montoya is an 8 year-old employee of Share-Pals, a new service that promises “24/7 digital memories” from Vine videos to InstaGram photos, and everything in between. Each “SharePa,” as they’re affectionately known, comes equipped with a camera, wireless internet hotspot, electronic charging station, and two cup-holders.

The SharePas are recruited from “distressed” countries on a two year contract, trained to carry twice their weight, ignore pain and revulsion,  and they are given a two week course on photo composition and effects including red-eye removal and vintage filters.

Customers can select online from a wide range of models and service plans, including self-feeding and sleep-over options. Although they cannot speak English, the SharePas can understand over a hundred voice commands, including “tag me” and “delete whatever happened last night.”

“Don’t just take the picture,” the Share-Pals website declares. “Be the picture!”

After President Obama’s selfie flap with the Danish Prime Minister at the Mandela funeral, the White House media office has reportedly contracted for an entire village’s children from Nicaragua.

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