Tulsa, OK – A local woman hailed a miracle Monday morning after an image of presidential candidate Donald Trump appeared in her breakfast toast. “I saw his great victory in the burnt bread,” Melissa Andre declared. “The night is dark and full of terrors.”
Trump immediately weighed in when the image went viral. “Good-looking piece of toast!” he tweeted. “Don’t know whether to slick it with butter or hang it in my museum!”
By noon, “Trump eats toast!” t-shirts were seen outside the Democratic Convention in Philadelphia.
According to Trump’s personal chef, the billionaire prefers wonder bread lightly toasted to a sunset golden amber, with any dark crusts neatly clipped off.
At press time, sources at the DNC confirmed that a Florida family spotted Hillary Clinton in a plate of enchiladas.