Man Breaks Ground On “Self-Museum”

Self MusumTopeka – Calling it his “life’s work,” 28-year-old Arthur Chesterfield broke ground today on a museum dedicated to himself. “This is for posterity,” he announced, as his mother looked on shaking her head.

Chesterfield, an assistant manager at Pizza Hut, live-streamed the ceremony across his social media accounts, and released a digital museum guide describing the “historical attractions” to be displayed in bullet-proof glass cases.

Highlights include an original copy of Chesterfield’s first grade cursive writing test, which earned an A+ with two star stickers, and 32 rare photographs from Chesterfield’s 2005 vacation to Myrtle Beach. The “Hall of Sport” will feature a “game-worn” jersey from the 1993 Topeka Comets youth soccer team. And a Hall of Mirrors will allow visitors to “enter the headspace” of Mr. Chesterfield.

Chesterfield reportedly embarked on the project when his mother asked him to clean out his old room, and he could not bear to part with any “pieces of history.” So he decided to take over the backyard and “build his Graceland.”

“Some day, probably soon, all of this will be very important. People will line up, and spend hours here, trying to really get to know me,” he said.

Chesterfield’s mom sighed. “Quit playing with yourself and take out the trash.”

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